In a bold new pilot scheme, ASH Wales has teamed up with local enforcement teams to trial the …
What If I Smoke Too?
If you smoke or vape, you might feel unsure about how to talk to your child about it. You may be thinking, Do I have the right to tell them not to do something I do? or Will they take me seriously?
These are completely normal thoughts and you’re not alone. But the truth is, your experience gives you a powerful voice. You know what nicotine does. You understand how hard it is to stop. And that makes you relatable.
This page is here to help you talk to your child without guilt, shame or pressure and to show how your story can actually help protect them.
Your experience is valid and valuable
You may have started smoking years ago. You might use a vape to manage stress or to try and quit smoking. Whatever your situation, you’re living proof that nicotine is hard to leave behind.
You could say:
- “I started when I was younger, and I still find it hard to stop. I don’t want that for you.”
- “I understand why people start. I did too. But if I could go back, I wouldn’t have touched it.”
- “It’s one of the hardest habits I’ve ever tried to change. I just want to make things easier for you.”
What if they challenge you?
“You do it – why can’t I?”
Stay calm. Acknowledge the truth, but stay firm in your role as a parent who wants better for them.
“You’re right, I do. And it’s one of the things I regret starting. I don’t want you to go through the same thing.”
“You’re being a hypocrite.”
Don’t take it personally. Keep the tone calm and grounded. You’re not claiming to be perfect you’re showing you care.
“It might feel that way. But this is not about me judging you, it’s about wanting to protect you from something I know is hard to stop.”
“If you really cared, you’d quit first.”
Be honest, not defensive. If you’re trying to quit, say so. If you’re not quite there yet explain why, and bring the focus back to their wellbeing.
“I do care. Quitting is something I’m still working on. But just because I’m finding it hard doesn’t mean I want you to get stuck in it too.”
Quitting Together: A Chance to Motivate Each Other
If you’re thinking about quitting too, this could be a moment to do it side by side. Supporting each other can make a huge difference and it doesn’t need to be perfect.
This could be a chance to:
Cheer each other on
Keep each other accountable
Talk about what’s hard without judgement
Celebrate small wins together
Show that change is possible at any age
Quitting together isn’t about pressure. It’s about partnership. It can even bring you closer, especially if you’re both open about what’s helping and what’s not.
You could use the same support service like Help Me Quit Wales and ask for guidance that works for both of you. They’ll help you build a plan, whatever stage you’re each at.
“I’ve been meaning to stop too. Maybe we can help each other. Let’s both try to go one day without and see how it feels.”
If you're not ready to quit yet
That’s okay. You can still talk about what you’ve learned from your own experience.
You might say:
“I use it to cope sometimes, and I don’t love that. That’s why I don’t want you to start in the first place.”
“Even if I’m still using, I can still help you understand the risks and I’ll always be here to support you.”
You don’t need to have everything sorted. You just need to stay open, honest and involved.
Looking after yourself too
This might be a tough conversation especially if you feel judged by others or by your own child. Take a moment for yourself. You are allowed to be a parent who’s still figuring things out. Your care and honesty still matter.
If you’re thinking about quitting, there’s support for you too:
Help Me Quit Wales: Free, friendly support for adults and young people
Visit www.helpmequit.wales or call 0800 085 2219
Quitting doesn’t have to be a condition for being a good parent. But if you want help, it’s there — and it’s never too late to try.
You are still the most important influence in their life
Whether you smoke, vape or have quit in the past, your voice matters. Your story matters. Your child still looks to you for guidance, even when they’re pushing back.
What they’ll remember is that you were honest, you cared enough to talk about it, and you showed up with love, even in the messy moments.
That’s what makes a difference.