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What to do if your child gets caught smoking or vaping at school

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If your child has been caught vaping at school, you might feel shocked, frustrated, or unsure what to do next. You might be worried about what this means for their future or feel judged by the school or other parents. That’s completely normal. But this moment can be used as a turning point not a disaster.

Stay Calm, Even If You're Upset

If the school has contacted you, your first instinct might be to panic or feel angry. Take a moment to breathe before responding. It helps to keep in mind:

  • Young people often experiment, especially when influenced by peers

  • Being caught doesn’t mean you’ve failed as a parent

  • There’s an opportunity here to understand what’s going on, not just to punish

Understand the School’s Position

Most schools now have strict policies on vaping, including:

  • No vaping or smoking on school grounds

  • Confiscation of devices

  • Possible suspension or behaviour points

These rules are in place to keep everyone safe, but each school handles things differently. It’s OK to ask the school:

  • What exactly happened?

  • Was this the first time?

  • How are they planning to support your child after the incident?

You’re allowed to be part of the conversation not just on the receiving end of it.

Should I ask for the vape back?

Some parents understandably want to collect the vape to see what their child was using. But most schools won’t return confiscated vapes especially if they suspect it’s an illegal or unregulated device. That’s because it could be unsafe or even unlawful to possess.

It’s okay to ask what kind of device it was and whether the school plans to dispose of it.

What to Do Next

This is a good time to:

  • Check if your child is using regularly or just experimenting

  • Look for signs of nicotine dependence (e.g. irritability, cravings, using in secret)

  • Get support if needed don’t wait until things escalate

If they are vaping or smoking regularly, the earlier you help them stop, the better. You can find practical support on our Helping Your Child Quit page, and young people aged 12+ can also contact Help Me Quit Wales.

If You Disagree With the School’s Response

Some parents feel the punishment was too harsh or they worry it’s damaged their child’s confidence. If that’s the case:

  • Stay respectful in your communication

  • Ask for a meeting if needed

  • Emphasise that you’re focused on supporting change, not defending the behaviour

You might say: “We understand there’s a consequence, and we’re taking it seriously at home too. But we would also like to talk about how the school can support [child’s name] going forward.”

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